Jean M. DiGiovanna

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Powerful Monthly Workouts for the Heart, Mind & Soul

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Sometimes Life has a Different Course for Us

Posted on Sep 26, 2012

By Jean Marie DiGiovanna

I’m going to be 45 years old next month and I never thought I would find myself single with no kids at this point in my life. I never thought I would lose a parent just yet. I never thought I would be living out west and I never thought I would be in business for 13 years and still thriving and successful. I never thought I would feel such clarity about what I want, need and deserve and I never thought I would have such a deep knowing and sense of peace that it’s all coming to me.

Things aren’t as predictable as they once were 50 years ago when you knew what life would eventually look like and how you were going to live it. We live in such a wildly different world now that life is more unpredictable than the weather pretty much anywhere in the country now. We used to live in times of security, pensions and looking forward to “good ‘ol” retirement. Today, it’s an illusion. We live in such fast times and rapid technological changes that I still cannot decide which smartphone to buy because the choices are overwhelming (yes, I still have a flip-up from 2008.. but at least I can text!)

It’s natural to want to still live back in times that were simple, with fewer choices to make, less stress and worry and less options to pursue…but that is not how it is today. If we continue to live today hoping, wishing and wanting things the way they used to be, or longing for something we thought we would have by now, then we are allowing our very life giving energy to be taken from us. It’s time to claim our life and be present and awake to TODAY, in this lifetime, in this world we are living. It’s time to embrace this life fully and most of all embrace all of ourselves fully and completely, regardless of where we are, what we have and/or where we thought we would be.

I know. It’s easier said than done! I did not come to that place I feel today without sweat, tears and an enormous commitment to my internal work which is to accept, let go and surrender to something bigger than myself. And, it’s an ongoing journey. I laugh because I created a painting in 1999 of an abstract heart. Around the edges of the heart, I placed the words, “Accept, Release, Surrender to Spirit”. (I have attached it here in place of a poem this month, or you can view it at under “Paintings”). The message of those words was somehow channeled through me over 10 years ago. It is only NOW that I’m finally getting it “in my bones”. It’s one thing to know it in your mind. It’s another to completely embrace it in your being and really feel it. Whenever the going got rough, I always seemed to remember that message, so I kept it alive in my life, but I haven’t gotten it totally and completely until now.

Life does look vastly different than what I thought it would at this age. Is it better or worse? No. It just is. So, if you can look at your own life without judgment, without wishing, wanting, “shoulda”, “coulda” or “would”ing, you are giving yourself the gift of complete acceptance. This is really the only gift you need to live a happy life. When you completely accept who you are and who you are not, where you are and where you are not, you open yourself up to treasures, Treasures of unending joy, love and prosperity. And, once that door opens, it will be so much more than you could ever imagine because life always has great things in store for us if we can accept exactly where we are today and know that we deserve best.

May you take this month to practice complete acceptance of everything you are and have and everything you don’t and not let it mean a thing. It takes one thought at a time, a minute to do and yes, it’s an ongoing practice. But, I promise that each time, it does get a little easier. Each time, you move closer and closer to the life you truly desire and deserve.

Monthly Workout

Below is a workout to take on this month:

  1. Find a time where you will be uninterrupted for about 20 minutes.  With a journal and pen in hand, write a list of all things you thought you would be, have or do by now in your life.  As best as possible, write free from judgment without making it mean anything (not a small task, I know!).
  2. On a new sheet of paper, write a list of all the things you have accomplished, achieved, acquired, and completed.  Add to that list where you have grown, all you have become and the difference you have made for others.
  3.  As you look at each list which list gives you more energy and aliveness?  Put that list on the top.  So, if that one gives you more energy and aliveness, why would you focus on the other list?  Each time you put your focus on that other list, you are draining life energy out of you.
  4. What would you like to do with the other list?  Some suggestions are burn it, throw it out and tear it up.  Come up with a ritual for you to remove that list from your existence.  During your ritual, ask for help in releasing any ties, bonds and attachments you have to that list.
  5. After you have completed that ritual, take a clean sheet of paper out.  Write on it these phrases, “I completely accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.  I completely accept my life for all that I have and all that I do not.”   Practice repeating these phrases to yourself on a daily basis and notice what you experience.  When you start to find yourself wishing, wanting and hoping for the list you just destroyed, repeat this mantra to yourself.
  6. When you begin to feel a shift over time in accepting yourself and your life, take out a clean sheet of paper out and write a list of all that you desire, need and deserve in your life. Let this new list be a reminder of all that is possible in your life and a roadmap for the universe to provide you.

Let me know what transpires out of this exercise.


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