Jean M. DiGiovanna

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Powerful Monthly Workouts for the Heart, Mind & Soul

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Practicing Detachment

Posted on Dec 26, 2014

By Jean Marie DiGiovanna

Life has thrown many different twists and turns my way, but I have come to believe that the life lesson I am here to learn is all about letting go. And, each time I think I’ve mastered it, I get thrown yet another test. Every morning after I set my intention for the day and create my to-do list (don’t get the idea I’m so organized – those are the only things I do on a consistent daily basis!), I usually pick an affirmation card out of a deck. Lately, I happen to be using Cheryl Richardson’s deck of Self-Care Cards. As I’m shuffling the deck, I usually ask, “What do I most need to hear today?” Lo and behold, I pick the card that says “Let go of the need to control ~ trust in the wisdom of a divine plan.” I was really hoping for the card that says “Play outside” or “Rest & Relax” or “Do nothing”. But, not today :-)

I had my typical reaction as soon as I saw the card, “Yup, that’s true – I do need to do that more”. But, what also came up for me when I picked the card was, “What is it going to take to really get this lesson?” I know it intellectually, I have practiced it and felt it deeply at different times in my life, but what would it take to get to the point where detaching from an outcome, allowing life to happen and letting go of having to control it actually becomes a natural way to live?

As I have moved through these challenging and exciting times in my business and in my life, it has really demanded me to challenge how I’ve done things in the past and who I need to be in the future to attract what I want. The power of letting go and not being attached to that proposal getting signed, that client calling back, the exciting job offered or the relationship taking off truly requires a major shift in our being. It requires us to move out of our head and into our heart. It requires us to trust unconditionally because trying to control an outcome is a big fat illusion.

I am reminded of a quote I read a very long time ago that states, “Your life is none of your business” and each time I re-read it, I chuckle because I am immediately reminded of the divine plan that each of us have. That divine plan is only accessed through our heart, not our head.

As you enjoy the rest of your summer, I invite you to follow your heart’s desire without being attached to how you think it should look. Life is meant to be free but it can only be truly free when we let go of trying to control it.

Monthly Workout

Take on the following questions and process below for this month’s workout:

  1. Think of one area of your life that you are holding onto tightly or trying to control.  You may feel tense about it and you may not be achieving the results you want.
  2. Begin to explore what you are holding onto or attached to.  Once you have defined that, now go a bit deeper and try and pinpoint the fear that lies beneath that. Under that attachment typically lies a fear of something (fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough, fear of not looking good, fear of not reaching your goals…) Begin to get clear on the fear that is causing you to hold on, attach to or control something or someone.
  3. Now, imagine for a moment what it would be like if you let go of the outcome you are expecting in that area and you let go of the fear. Imagine the feeling of total freedom and joy.  Imagine feeling that right now.
  4. As you are imagining that, begin to ask for support by stating in your head or out loud, “Please help me release this fear and let go of the outcome.  Help me to trust in the process”.  Simply asking will begin to loosen the hold you have on the outcome.
  5. Continue to practice awareness in distinguishing the hold, the fear beneath it and asking for assistance.  Then, allow for what’s ahead and do your best to stay in your heart.
  6. Remember, practice makes progress!

Let me know what transpires out of this exercise.  I look forward to hearing from you.


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